What is Relational Life Therapy (RLT)?

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a powerful, transformative approach to couples therapy created by renowned therapist and author Terry Real. It goes beyond surface-level communication tools—RLT helps couples break free from the cycles of conflict and disconnection by diving deep into the patterns and wounds that keep you stuck.

RLT recognizes that many relationship struggles come from learned behaviors and past experiences. These show up in conflict through fight, flight, fix, or freeze responses—automatic reactions that push partners further apart. With RLT, we uncover these patterns, challenge unhelpful dynamics, and teach you how to relate with honesty, empathy, and accountability.

The Three Phases of RLT

RLT moves couples through three clear, impactful phases:

  1. Waking Up to the Problem: This phase reveals the relational patterns and behaviors harming your connection. As your therapist, I take an active role—compassionately but directly—helping each of you see your part in the dynamic without blame or shame.

  2. Healing and Accountability: Once the patterns are clear, we focus on taking responsibility—both for your actions and their impact on your partner. It’s about moving from finger-pointing to teamwork, with self-awareness and compassion leading the way.

  3. Practicing Relational Skills: Lastly, we focus on practical tools. You’ll learn how to express your needs clearly, respond to conflict with maturity, and create a partnership rooted in security and connection.

Is RLT Right for You?

RLT is especially impactful for couples who feel stuck in the same arguments or those on the brink of ending their relationship or considering divorce. If you feel like you're at a breaking point, RLT doesn’t just offer hope—it offers a clear, structured path forward.

This approach is for couples who are ready to stop going in circles, break down their defenses, and build something stronger together. If you want to stop managing conflict and start transforming your relationship, RLT can help you get there.

Because in the end, it’s not just about learning how to talk about your relationship—it’s about learning how to live it. With courage. With vulnerability. With love.

Ready to take the next step? Let’s connect.